I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you mean i was at the winter classic?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
