Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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