He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
