you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
