gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
