Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
