I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
