Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
