did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Dicks are not precious.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
