You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
