He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
