You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm way too hungover for life right now
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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