the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
