Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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