Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
