hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
