i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
We named our party play list daddy issues
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
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