Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
