guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize