epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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