you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
