I hate all girls vehemently.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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