I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize