So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
