he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
