Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
