one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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