The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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