youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize