I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
