I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
