butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
