I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize