Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i drank out of a bidet.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I just forgot I was standing up.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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