Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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