How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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