Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
now i know why i became what i already was.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
