This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
