i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Randomize
