you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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