Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
