our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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