dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
