i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
