have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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