I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
