He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
