Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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