yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
