Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize