Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
