The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
