We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
