if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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