My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
