Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
