I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
