It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
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