i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
