I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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