how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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