roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
