The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Randomize
