and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
All I want is dick and wine.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
