"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
