how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize