You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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