Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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