everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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