i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
